Reflections..

It is New Years Eve 2010. I can't even believe it... 

When I think back on this past year, it's hard to imagine and comprehend all the things that have happened and all the things that have changed. This time last year I was NERVOUS out of my mind. I was probably packing and getting ready to leave behind my family, my friends, Calgary....everything familiar.... to go to a province that I had never ever been to before. Not to mention coming to a new school halfway through the year, when everybody already knew each other. I was SO scared. Despite all my many emotions, I remember looking back on that past fall and seeing how God had completely and totally pieced together my going to Redeemer. What little doubt I had was swept away when I looked at how God had led me through the entire application process and opened all the doors for me to keep going...to move to Ontario. Last January, it didn't make ANY sense, I felt like I was blindly being led away to this foreign land to go to a school I hardly knew about. But God was faithful, and He knew what He was doing. 

The first month at Redeemer was so hard. I remember being homesick alot and frustrated because I didn't know anybody; PLUS super overwhelmed because everyone else already had friends and I didn't. The first night at Redeemer I hungout with my wonderful new RA Lori, and we went to dorm 29 for dinner. Those girls were seriously the biggest blessings of my life!! :) Right away I felt completely welcomed and I was introduced to so many new people. I hungout with the girls who lived there all night; talking to them in Becky and Michelle's room and watching Paranormal Activity in the basement....AHHH scariest movie of my life...that was a bonding moment forsure... :P The friendships I made from the beginning of my time at Redeemer are still my close friends today. I feel so blessed to have them in my life, and I've seen how friendships centred on Christ are the ones that will last in the end. Redeemer was a huge leap out of my comfort zone but it forced me to rely even more on God and it defenitly made me a more independent person; showing me that I had to be the one to budget my money, make my own meals and be a good house mate. Good life lessons:) My mother would agree. haha. 

I pretty much went through every emotion at Redeemer that first semester. I was sad, homesick and lonely at first....but then slowly God gave me back my joy, and showed me all these amazing new friends and ways to get involved in my school and in my courses. I learned that when I do something that's apart of God's will, He WILL help me get through it, even when it's extremely scary and frustrating. 

The summer was good and bad. I loved being home with my family, but I missed everyone from Redeemer ALOT. God taught me so much more about reliance on Him, and that I MUST seek Him first. I learned what it was like to fight God and lose. But I also learned what it was like to submit to God's will, and have peace. I will never ever forget the joys of this past summer; hanging out with my family, hosting the one year Capernwray reunion, going to the family reunion in Minnesota, Stampede, the amazing ladies at Curves, driving, seeing the mountains, tubing, boating......eating icecream :) The hard things, I will never forget either. 

I came back to Redeemer late August for HA training. I was super nervous going back but also excited. Going through the training made me PUMPED for the year ahead and it was awesome meeting new friends and seeing old ones again. Certain things about this fall made it a hard one; and there were many days where I would NEED to pour into God's word for strength. Joy and sorrow go hand in hand, and this past fall is a testimony to that. 100%. With hard things come great things, and I can honestly say that being back at Redeemer has been AMAZING. I am so thankful for all the people I have met, the girls in my dorm, working at Williams, my classes, everything!! God has been at work in so many different lives and in my life, and it is SO cool seeing how things have changed from September until now. I can't wait to see what else is in store this new year !! :)

As a word of encouragement; don't give up when things look bleak. Sometimes God has to make us go through the storm in order to get to the place He has for us on the other side. Get your strength directly from God, because believe me....the things of this world will not ever completely satisfy you. Seek His will and follow it; it's not worth it to know you're out of His will but do nothing about it. Be there for the people you care about and be the best friend you possibly can be. I will never forget the people in my life who have stuck with me through thick and thin, and the new friends who have shown me what a true friend really looks like. Set goals for yourself, live your life to the fullest, and all those cliche things :) But actually....:) 

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! 

2011 here we come...... :)

A tribute to my family :)

Tomorrow is American Thanksgiving, and even though I haven't lived in the states these past eleven years....I can still remember the many Thanksgiving dinners together with all my relatives. Thanksgiving is a time of being thankful, as cliche as it sounds. I believe that it is a time of reflection as well as a time to remember all the ways being apart of the Trester AND Olson family has greatly impacted who I am as a person. Both sides of my extended family are amazing in different ways. The Trester side is small but AWESOME, whereas the Olson side is huuuggggggeeee with hugs being mandatory and 100% necessary. I have so many relatives and family members that I am extremely thankful for and I know will always be there to support me and love me :)  Happy Thanksgiving family!                     

Masks

This month a bunch of my girl friends have been doing "Natural November," --> meaning not wearing any makeup. This week I decided not to wear makeup either. 

Honestly it's been weird.... It's not like I'm used to wearing tons of makeup on a normal day- but not even wearing mascara makes me feel exposed. 

Guys have asked me before, why do girls wear makeup? Is it because we're trying to attract guys, or because we're in competition with other girls? I really don't think it's either. Obviously, there's going to be some girls who wear lots of makeup to "attract" guys to them or compete with girls...BUT I truly think that makeup gives girls confidence in themselves; therefore they wear it to feel beautiful. It sounds weird...but this week I've really been thinking about the reasons why girls wear makeup in the first place. I think it brings security to some girls, boosts confidence, and creates a mask to hide behind. None of these reasons are that great. 

The first day of not wearing makeup made me feel a little self-conscious,  but today I really don't care. It's nice to not worry about taking the extra five minutes to put on makeup in the morning, and my face feels so much more healthy and clean. I love it! :) I encourage you if you're a girl, to not worry so much about "perfect" appearances. I really feel like we need to take care of our bodies and be clean and presentable, but at the same time, don't let makeup define you. Don't let it become your security blanket. Go a day without wearing makeup and see how you feel. It's pretty sweet :)

I've experienced what it feels like to run away from what God's will is for my life. 

I know what it's like to fight God on something, 

that He wants me to let go 

but I want to hold onto.  

I've learned that God will always win. 

Slow motion.

The same routine keeps playing over

And over in my head

I hate doing the same thing again

And again

But in reality

I cant help it.

 

Why do I think about the same

Thing

Why cant I let it go

People say “let go and let

God.”

It’s harder done

Than said

But I want to

And I’m trying

I’m really trying. 

Seasons Change

Fall is my favourite season. Hands down. Not only are the trees absolutely gorgeous when the leaves change colour, but the weather is typically PRIME. This year has been my first fall in Ontario, and let me tell you....it is STUNNINGLY beautiful. Calgary's fall lasts for maybe....2 weeks? ...and then it snows. Snow's okay...but when you get snow every single month of the year, my appreciation for it drops huuuuuuuggge. SNOW= good for Christmas and New Years; not for showing up randomly in JULY when you're planning on going to the beach. 

To me, the fall represents new beginnings and changes. I love starting a new school year and setting new goals for myself. I feel like alot of new friendships and relationships are developed in the fall and everything is fresh and exciting. As autumn starts to fade into winter, I've noticed that I hit a bit of a slump. I hate when the leaves drop and disappear and the trees are all spindly and bare. Why can't Fall last until Christmas? The trees are so naked without the leaves :( 

I've been reading through Psalms lately, and I've noticed that David goes back and forth between complaining and crying out to God ... to praising Him and being extremely grateful. I feel like life is EXACTLY like the book of Psalms. Seasons change in our life; some good and some bad....but there seems to ALWAYS be a constant cycle of good and bad. God allows the bad things in our lives to grow us into the people He wants us to become. Hardships happen for a reason; and as cliche as it sounds I really believe it. When I get impatient about the pace my life is going; or if I feel like nothing new is going on and everything's blah...it's hard to remember that God's will for my life is still happening. Even in the stillness and coldness of wintery months, God is STILL at work..... something is going on, even if I can't see it at the time. This poem sums it up nicely:  

"As moves my fragile bark across the storm-swept sea,

Great waves beat o'er her side, as north wind blows;

Deep in the darkness hid lie threat'ning rocks and shoals;

But all of these, and more, my Pilot knows. 

Sometimes when dark the night, and every light gone out,

I wonder to what port my frail ship goes; 

Still though the night be long, and restless all my hours, 

My distant goal, I'm sure, my Pilot knows." 

-Thomas Curtis Clark.

Jesus blows my mind.

It is really late right now, like 2:30 in the morning....but there is NO way that I can sleep. Jesus has just overwhelmed me with joy and I feel like bouncing off the walls. 

Today was a pretty good day, I had some good conversations with people and got alot of homework done. At the same time, today was a really hard day. I felt like I was losing my joy....and that I was just walking through life feeling all meh and blah....and questioning alot of things....even prayer. 

Tonight when I got home from night class and before heading to bed...I called up my mom, who's always a HUGE encouragement to me and challenges me on a lot of things. She said the exact things that I needed to hear and listening to her speak with so much joy, reminded me of the joy that Jesus DOES want me to have. ANYWAYS, after that convo, I got ready for bed and then remembered I had to talk to one of the girls next door. ( I feel like this is a huuuuuugggggeeeeeee play by play- haha); k so I left my room, and this guy from next door was over randomly and I didn't pay it much thought. The next thing I know, I'm at Freyja's dorm and Cheryl tells me that this guy (who I had just seen in my dorm) just gave his life to Jesus and that they had all just finished praying for him and his shoulder/arm had been healed!!!!! ahhhhhhh. I RAN back to my dorm, PUMPED out of my mind, talked to the guy, Freyja and Gill about what had happened/EVERYTHING & it was seriously such a cool moment....incredible. 

I feel like this whole day has been centered/focused on the topic of prayer, and the power/confusion/doubt we all have at some points in our lives about prayer. TONIGHT after hearing about the healing & life transformation that took place because people prayed, completely confirmed to me the POWER of prayer and how real and wonderful it truly is. God's will WILL be done, but our prayers still do count and matter to Him..... He hears us and knows what is best for us, and answers our prayers according to his ultimate plan. One of the coolest parts of this whole night is that the guy who became a Christian had been someone God had really placed on my heart to pray for since the beginning of September.....and NOW seeing what God has done with my prayers and so many other people's prayers is ASTONISHING. I am blown away by His power and His might. God is SOOO good, and I'm so thankful for the transforming work that occurred just a few hours ago. I will never forget this night and the reminder of God's love and faithfulness to His people who pray in expectation. Praise be to Jesus!

 :)

Identity

Today before work I had a very relaxing afternoon, tanning on my trampoline and listening to Hans Peter's lecture on my IPOD. God SPEAKS wonders through Hans Peter. When I heard him speak at my school in England I learned so much. The message I listened to today was about Identity. In this turbulent stage of teenager/young adult/adult-ness....real, true identity is MIA. Hans Peter identified ways we typically look for our identity:

1. through what other people think about us

2. through what we think other people think about us (that may or may not be true)

3. what we think about ourselves

4. what God thinks about us

What do you say when someone asks you, "Who are you?" maybe a response would be," I'm Hannah." or ," I'm a student at Redeemer University college." ....but that's NOT my actual identity. That's my name, and my occupation....but it's NOT what defines me, or what makes me, me! Hans Peter gave examples through his lecture to support what he was saying. Let's say you meet someone and they say," I'm Bob, and I have A.D.D" Because Bob has made that his identity, he lives his life with the perception that he has A.D.D....and lives up to his identity. What traits do people with A.D.D typically have? hyperness & distraction to tasks at hand. When someone bases their identity on having A.D.D, even if they DONT have it- they live like they do! It's the same for someone who is an alcoholic. "Oh, I'm an alcoholic...it's normal for me to drink excessively....it's a part of who I am...it's my identity." as much as someone may not want to be an alcoholic....by labeling themselves as one it impacts how they live and how they view themselves. It may even become an excuse for bad behavior.

Hans Peter went on to describe the one identity that will never fail us.....the identity of being a child of God. When we identity ourselves as being a son or daughter of Christ, we begin to live it out and it affects the way we live. What is appropriate and what isn't? It becomes less about living by rules and more about living the way a child of God should live....because we WANT to and identity ourselves in that way. Everyday we believe lies, telling us who we are and who we're not....why do we listen to them?! Why do we fear what man thinks of us SOO incredibly much??! Does it really matter? I'd much rather live my life knowing that I'm pleasing God by what I do, than trying to be the person I think people want me to be. There's freedom in identifying yourself as a child of God. Freedom to get rid of labels and perceptions that others have falsely placed on us. Try it out. Stop labelling yourself as a "partier" or a "great" christian" or a "Baptist" or a "Lutheran" or a "person with depression".... instead tell yourself, " I am a child of God!" ....in the long run that is really all that matters anyways.

Toy Story 3

Yesterday afternoon I saw Toy Story 3 with my friend Courtney. I have NEVER EVER cried soooo much during a Disney movie before. WOW. For me, Toy Story is a movie that I have grown up with and all of the characters are SO special and bring back so many memories. With Andy going away to College and having to give up all his prized childhood toys....ahh...somehow I could relate to the situation. Me & the movie = emotionally connected. I felt like I was giving up my childhood too as I watched it. At the end of the movie (spoiler)- Andy gives away his toys to another little girl, and plays with them for the last time before driving away to College. What an emotional, EPIC moment.

All in all, Toy Story 3 is excellent. Sometimes sequels aren't so great, but this one surpassed all of my expectations...and showed me that even in cartoon, Disney movies, tears CAN be shed ! :)

Before The Morning ~ Josh Wilson

So I was driving today with my mom to pick up some pizza & this song came on the radio. I soaked up every word. It was exactly the song I needed to hear at that moment...

Beautiful. 

Undo

So, tonight for some reason I can't sleep. I am so tired but my mind is going a million miles per minute. In the middle of my attempt at sheep counting, this song flooded into my mind. It's called "Undo" by Rush of Fools, and it used to be one of my favourite songs a couple of years ago. I looked up the song and sat and listened to it....and it reminded me of some things that have been on my mind lately. 

"I've been here beforeNow, here I am again
Standing at the door
Praying You'll let me back in

To label me
A prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who I've been known to be"

In this song, the band touches on the feelings of guilt and shame. I feel like there are so many people who struggle with these two things......feeding into the LIES that they are worthless and that they can never be forgiven. This is NOT true. Jesus longs for you to come back to Him with your whole heart, believing that you are free and forgiven. Hebrews 10:22, "Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water." Jesus sees into our hearts and is desperately desiring to purify us from all that we're hiding inside. Everyone fails in some ways or another, but when we realize that we can be forgiven and made new, Jesus wants us to fall before His feet...knowing we can't do it anymore on our own strength. But that we NEED HIM. 

One of my friends told me once of something that had happened that they deeply regretted. I could see the guilt and shame all across their face....but when I looked at my friend, he had never looked so perfect. And I knew right then, that I was seeing him with God's eyes...of how God saw him and just how deeply God loved him. The pain of his shame brought pain to God, and I could feel all that in that moment, and I just knew that He was begging for my friend to realize and GRASP that he was indeed forgiven and it was all going to be okay. Jesus loved him, and loves us SO much....but sometimes the shame is to big that we can't fully see it. Jesus wants you to receive His forgiveness, and forgive yourself. 

Romans 12:1 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.." 

Let us RUN with all of our might towards the things that are good....throwing off everything else that can tangle us up and cause us to stumble. With our eyes fixed above, and asking for strength each day...slowly the guilt and shame will fade away as we each are reminded of HOW incredibly much our God DOES love us. Believe it.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stT0WzeXrLU

On fire....or lukewarm?

   Okay, so my mom just got back from Minnesota and she brought back a book for me to read. It's called "Crazy Love" and it's by Francis Chan. OH MY FLIP!!!!! It is amazing. Incredible. Challenging. I just finished reading a chapter that blew my mind and I had to run upstairs and write down my thoughts. 

The chapter's called "Profile of the Lukewarm" and it starts off with this quote: 

"It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow- hearted prosperity." 

Wow. When I stop and reflect on that quote, it is SO true. HOW can we as Christians, who have been given this AMAZING, INCREDIBLE gift just throw it away so easily. Why do we always just want the EASY parts of Christianity....the parts that we can pick and choose because they're comfortable and they don't REALLY truly affect our lives in a negative way. 

"The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time. He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him- and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by." (Chan, 61) 

I have this picture of God standing right beside me, waving to get my attention and trying to show me how much He loves me, but I just look right past Him and ignore Him. He's trying to show me all the wonderful things He has in store for my life with Him, but I keep doubting His promises and pretending that I can control and handle things on my own.....

HE desperately wants us to WANT Him. He never forces us to love Him, or to read our Bibles, or even to pray....but He's just waiting for us to have a "lightbulb" moment where we realize....that He's always been there. He's ALWAYS been there. He's the one that's with us in our greatest joys, and our deepest hurts. When we don't feel like we can take another step..... He's the one who's CHEERING like mad for us to keep going....to keep persevering.....our #1 fan, and we don't even thank Him half the time....

What good is it to Him, if we read our Bibles just to please him, without really wanting to?! I want to WANT to read my Bible, to have a hunger for more of God because He deserves it and because I love Him. Not because I'm guilty and think that I "should" to be a "good" Christian. He deserves so much more than our lukewarm faith.... that loves Him when times are good....but how "DARE" He do something that causes us pain or hurt? Why do we think this way? Why do we think it's all about us?? It's not. And as hard as it is for my selfish, human mind to comprehend....I don't deserve this love that He gives me. But He still gives it to me none the less. Wow.

Exception

Okay....so....for as long as I can remember I have been in LOVE with the sound of acoustic guitar. I don't know what it is, but whenever I hear the guitar being played...I am smitten by it, and I fall into my own little dream world. This summer, I decided that I, Hannah Trester was going to learn to play this instrument that I love so much. A week after getting home, my friend Teri came over and we were just talking about guitars for SOME reason....and she told me that she never played her guitar anymore and it was just catching dust in her basement. THEN she told me, that I could take it! I was SOOO PUMPED. I had been all prepared to go to Guitar Works and buy a new guitar for however much money they cost....but now I could borrow Teri's!! ahhh. 

So....me & my new guitar didn't do well together at first. I TRIED hard to play....but teaching myself with Youtube videos isn't always the greatest method. My friend Nicole taught me some chords and told me what a fret was (hahah YES I was a complete amateur) I learned some chords in the first few months of summer and attempted some worship songs...but didn't really get into it. After the busy, crazy month of July, I decided that AUGUST was my month to hardcore LEARN this guitar!! SO I have set a goal for myself to practice at least for a couple minutes EVERY day of August until I am a PRO and start my own band....haha kidding. 

Today, I broke two guitar strings. I almost cried. I was tuning it....and I SUCK at tuning still....and So they snapped and I just sat there MORTIFIED. Right away, I took my guitar, got into the car and drove to guitar works. The guys who work there were VERY helpful and they gave me some pointers and sent me on my way. Today, I played guitar more than any day so far this summer....and I started to learn a new song by Paramore called ," The Only Exception." I don't know why I like this song so much....for one, it's pretty easy to learn on guitar...and it has a nice beat & for two: I'm a big Paramore fan. Anyways, I started learning it today and I am FAR from pro....but I am more motivated than EVER before to MASTER this baby! here's a sample...of my lack of skill...hahah :) One thing is true....I love the sound of guitar even MORE now that I'm starting to learn how to play it :)

Rollercoaster

So, my life this past month has felt like a rollercoaster ride. There's been some really high, exciting times and also some very low, sad times. I feel like every night when I go to bed, I don't know if I'll wake up in the morning feeling down or optimistic about the day. But I always have to remember that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% of how you react to it. I don't want to be the person who mopes around when life gets me down...and so I have to make a conscious effort to change my mood completely for the better. At the same time...it's OK to have down days too....we're human.... it happens. And it makes us real. 

I was looking through my Itunes files the other day and I found some lectures from Hans Peter, who was a lecturer at my school in England last year. He was my ABSOLUTE favourite....and probably one of the few lecturers I remember very, VERY well. I realized as I looked through his messages, that I had all ten of them...and so I started from the first and listened to it in my spare time. At Capernwray, Hans Peter's messages had completely challenged and transformed my life, and so as I listened I was blown away by what God was speaking to me through them. There's one message about being thankful in every circumstance. Hans talked about thanking God ahead of time for what He is GOING to do....and in that way our trust and faith in Him are strengthened, and we begin to believe that YES He has gone before us and He knows our future and He's paving the way for us. 

In the past couple of weeks, when I'm down and worried about the future, I just commit it straight away to God and thank Him for what He's GOING to do...and that He's already gone before me.

Seriously, in ALL honesty, when I do that.....I don't have to worry anymore. Maybe.... my non- worry state will just last for a couple hours...but then I just hand it all back to him again....and again...and AGAIN! I Commit it to God...knowing that He is WAY more powerful than me, and He can control things way better than I can. It's hard...but once you get into the habit of doing it...believe me....life doesn't seem quite so scary anymore.  It's worth a shot ;) What could you lose by trying? 

Bucket List

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
-Judy Garland

Even if I don't reach all my goals, I've gone higher than I would have if I hadn't set any. -Danielle Fotopoulis

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. But you can decide how you're going to live now. -Joan Baez

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


OK, so today I decided that I wanted to make a Bucket List. I was talking to one of my friends, and she was telling me how she had just made one.....& I personally think it's SO exciting to set goals for your life. I've always been one to make short term and long term goals in my journals, and when I have things to look forward to and strive for....my life is so much more thrilling and challenging :) These things were all off the top of my mind...I'm sure there's more that I'll add eventually :

BUCKET LIST: (to accomplish in my lifetime; in no particular order)

1. Work in Europe for a summer
2. Return to Edinburgh, Scotland ( my favourite place in the WHOLE world)
3. Visit Capernwray Hall
4. Go on a missions trip to Africa
5. Go on a Safari
6. Play guitar well (master at least 5 songs!!)
7. Go to all 50 states at least once
8. Kiss someone in the rain
9. Become fluent in conversational Spanish
10. Be known for my joy in Jesus :)
11. Fall in love
12. Get married
13. Have kids (2-4)
14. Go on another cruise
15. Live life with no regrets & focused on the present
16. Sponser a child
17. Be a camp counsellor ( @ least ONE week!)
18. Go skinny dipping
19. Go sailing
20. Go sky diving
21. Write a book and get it published

Pink Cotton Candy

Mornings can be hard. I would much rather stay up really late at night and sleep in the next day then go to bed early and wake up with the sun. But, working at a fitness gym requires early mornings....soo I really have no choice.

Even though mornings are hard for me.... and I hit the snooze button AT least 3 times...I've learned to appreciate some things about waking up early.

#1. the sunrise is always AMAZING .... today it looked like pink cotton candy, YUM.

#2. I feel more alert later on in the day...not so lazy which happens when I sleep in too late.

#3. It's SO quiet on the roads... and it feels nice not to have any music going on the drive to work, but just spend some time with God before the day starts. My day always goes better when it starts out this way.

#4. I pickup Tim's coffee on the way to work....defenitly a highlight. I think the people in the drive-thru know me now :)

#5. When I get to work, all the ladies who come into workout are SUCH morning people that I can't help but force my tiredness away and TRY to be a morning person too. (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesnt).

Even though I PREFER sleeping in....and a perfect day would be to sleep until I wake up...WITHOUT an alarm....as awesome as my alarm is (it sounds like a carribean dance party....(my ringtones were very limited) ...I've been realizing more and more lately that life is so short and I need to try and enjoy every day for what it is. I just watched Charlie St. Cloud last night, and though parts of it were super cheesesauce....the main message behind the plot stood clearly. Our life can be gone in a moment because of a stupid decision we make or a random accident....we don't know how long we have to live....so we better live our life now. We don't get another chance...

When I look back on my life I would much rather know that I FULLY lived it out and lived a life of love to others, then realize how much time I wasted doing things that were SO pointless in the end. Though I may be crabby when I have to wake up at 5:30....I have more hours before me that day to live my life, to love my family and friends, and use the gifts that God gives.

Ecclesiastes 12:1, " Remember your Creator when you are young, before the days of trouble come and the years catch up with you. They will make you say, "I have found no pleasure in them." .....Solomon wrote the book of Ecclesiastes, and he realized that after all the things of the world he had experienced, they were all meaningless, none gave him great, lasting pleasure... except for God. Draw near to God while you are still young... Since we have no clue how long we have to live, why throw away a relationship with the God who has created you? He wants to be a part of your life, if you just let Him in :)

The only One who can truly satisfy...

“Satisfy me in the morning with your unfailing love.” -Psalm 90:14

This world is filled with SO many things that can temporarily satisfy us. The biggest problem is....we don't realize that they can't ALWAYS satisfy us....there's going to be a time when the things we hold so tight, dissapoint us and we realize that we truly have been empty the whole time. Lies are everywhere, telling us that if we have "this" we'll be happy, or if we have "that" we'll never need anything else. It's sad, but true, and so many people fall for these lies and than they wonder why things went wrong. Believe me...I've been there.

The things of this world cannot truly satisfy us. God created us so that we would NEVER be completely satisfied in this world...because if we were...we would never TRULY need Him. We would be perfectly happy and filled with other things, that we would never feel the need to depend on Him. God made us to never be completely satisfied in the things of this world so that we would learn that without Him, we are empty.

Ever since reading Psalm 90:14, I've learned how important it is to ask God every morning to satisfy me in all that He is. If I don't, I know there will be things in my day that wil dissapoint me and only temporarily satisfy. But temporary satisfaction leaves us feeling more empty than before...

Jesus longs to be the one to satisfy us completely. If we let Him. Otherwise, hello dissapointment and pain. It can be an extremely hard choice to let Him be the one to make us whole and surrender things to Him, but when He satisfies....WOW....it is powerful stuff :)

“Taste and see the Lord is good. How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him.” -Psalm 34:8

Peanut Butter & Cheese

So....I have a confession to make. I absolutely LOVE peanut butter & cheese sandwiches. I KNOW they sound gross....I've heard from MANY people :P but....you can't judge, if you've never tried one before ;) I think it started back in 2nd grade when I had two favorite foods. Peanut butter.....and cheese....so I decided, "Hey, why not try them TOGETHER?" and my life was changed. They weren't just good....they were REALLY good. Especially melted on a bagel. I think in elementary school I o-d'ed on those sandwiches and for awhile I couldn't eat them. Too much of a good thing isn't good....right? Now when I have a peanut butter & cheese sandwich it reminds me of being a kid in Minnesota, making forts with my friend Michelle and going to the park to play grounders on the playground. Good memories all around :)

If Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?

"Our God" by Chris Tomlin

Water You turned into wine

Open the eyes of the blind

There’s no one like You

None like You

Into the darkness You shine

Out of the ashes we rise

There’s no one like You

None like You

CHORUS

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God…

Into the darkness you shine

Out of the ashes we rise

There’s no One like You

None like You.

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God…

Our God is greater, our God is stronger

God You are higher than any other

Our God is Healer, awesome in power

Our God, Our God…

BRIDGE

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

And if Our God is for us, then who could ever stop us

And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?

What can stand against?

I have never had a song on repeat as much as the one I posted above...there's something about it that touches me to the core. I have a God who is so strong and so great, and who can heal me and protect me....it blows my mind. I really wanted to post the lyrics to this song, because in the last few weeks this song has been my anthem. When the bridge of this song plays, my heart seriously stops beating because I am so overwhelmed. If "OUR God is for us....then who could ever stop us?? " If my God is with me....who could ever stand against that?? I've realized the power of God and it is INSANE.

Jesus has the power to work in our lives to the greatest and fullest potential....if we let Him. We can fight against God all we want, but in the end His way is going to win over our way. Instead of complaining...I've learned to thank Him instead. He knows what's going to happen in my life and why He does the things that He does.... I can pretend that I know what's best for me, but HE is the one who truly knows. There's a lot of things in this world that scare me and make me worry. As Christians, we are in the minority and there are so many people who will try their very hardest to make us fall. But at the end of the day....I know fully that I don't have to be afraid. All I have to do is ask God to walk with me step by step, and keep my eyes fixed on Him. If Our God is with us, then what could stand against?

Power in Weakness

I have been learning a lot lately about God's power being found in our weaknesses. I never completely understood what that meant, but lately I have been having to depend on God completely. It's funny, because when things are going right and I'm content at the place I am...all of a sudden, out of NOWHERE Jesus is like..."Okay Hannah, you're getting a little too confortable, how are you going to have the desire to depend on me if you think you're doing great on your own??" I've learned that if God starts to put these thoughts in my mind...usually the storm is coming. But do you know what?? I have learned that weakness is good. At the time it's painful and hard....but I have never been closer to God than in the times when I am the weakest.

Jesus wants us to realize, that without Him and His power ....we are NOTHING. We MUST depend on God in every situation and circumstance. 2 Corinthians 12:9 says..." But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." WOW. Jesus's power is PERFECT in weakness....in order for His power to be made perfect, I must be weak so He can work through me. It's OK to be weak....because Jesus wants to blow our minds with the strength that we lack on our own.

I am overwhelmed by everything that God has been teaching me lately. Honestly...this past week and a bit has been extremely hard because I've had to give up something I care about deeply. Very painful experience.... but at the same time I have never felt more content in resting and waiting on God and realizing 100% that this is all a part of His plan. I can only see the tip of the ice berg but He sees beneath the surface of the water. I am confident that God will do what He needs to do in my life, and during this time of weakness....God has proved Himself STRONG and worthy of my praise. Just remember, pain is temporary...and is necessary for growth. If we don't have pain, we truly don't have gain. Trust in Jesus, and let Him be the one to lift you up, not someone or something else.

Horseback Riding

SO today I am going to my friend Lisa's farm and we are going to ride her horses. I am PUMPED. When I was younger I used to BEG my mom for a horse. We had a lot of land at our house in Minnesota...and ALL of our neighbors had horses. As much as I begged, I realistically knew that it probably wouldn't happen. When we moved to Calgary, me and my friend Jessica took English riding lessons out by Okotokes. It was EXCITING. We learned how to groom the horses, feed them, and put of their saddle/bridle/bit...the whole works. During the lessons we learned to trot, gallop and canter...and even go over small jumps and stand up on our horses. It was freeing and exhilarating. For some reason, after that one year of lessons we stopped going and since then the only riding I've done is western riding in the mountains and in Belize during our leadership missions trip. THAT ride was crazy. It was the first time I had been on a horse in a river...they swim AWESOMELY...but you completely lose all control and feel like you're going to fall off into the water. I've realized that riding horses is all about trust. You have to trust that the horse isn't going to scare and shake you off... or stumble and fall. Riding down narrow, rocky cliffs in the mountains can be TERRIFYING but if you worry about that then the ride isn't going to be enjoyable.

God desires that same kind of trust from us. When we're walking on the edge and all we see is potential danger, the fear can be overwhelming. God doesn't want us to live a life of fear, but one where we aren't afraid to go out on a limb and trust that he'll take care of us.

Psalm 28:77 ,"The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." When life gets hard and we depend on our own strength or even the strength of others....we will be disapointed. When my heart trusts in God....that's when I know....that whatever happens, I can fall back on Him and He wont stumble and fall.

First blog :)

Wow, I have never had a blog before. This is prettttty cool, not gonna lie :) I have ABSOLUTELY loved writing since I was ten years old. Back in the day, me and my best friend Jessica would hangout at recess and write stories. I would write and she would draw the pictures.... we were a great team:)

Anyways, writing stories and journalling have always been some of my huge passions, SO for me, this blog is going to be a whole lot of fun! I don't know what it is about writing, but it can be so relaxing and SO incredibly freeing. When I have a lot on my mind, the most relaxing thing to do is write it all down. EVERYTHING. I think I have about 25-30 journals since the time I was 13. It's amazing when I look back in them and see how much I have grown and how much my life has changed since then. The things that stressed me out when I was 14 are laughable issues now...and I know that the issues I have today are going to be no big deal when I'm 30.

I encourage everyone to have a journal of some sort...whether it be a "Dear Diary" type thing...or a prayer diary to God. It's AMAZING to look back and see HOW much God has blessed my life, and how He has been working.... when at the time I sure didn't realize or appreciate it.

I think one of my biggest problems is over analyzing situations and worrying about things that are out of my control. Why do we do that?? Why do we take everything and make it such a big deal?? It's SO not worth it. One of my favorite verses is : "In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps” (Prov. 16:9, NIV) We always have this NEED to be in control of our life and to plan it out according to what we WANT. But at the end of the day, God is the one who makes our path firm, and He determines where we go. If I woke up every morning confident that no matter what went on that day, God would be helping me and guiding me along the way....I'm sure the silly worries I had wouldn't seem as big or scary. It's harder said than done to give everything to God....but from what I've experienced in the past, it is worth it 100%. Nothing is to big for God.