God of this heart :)

Today I have reason to celebrate,
today I have a reason to shout and sing for JOY
I have a hope that does not fade,
that will not give up on me,

Sitting here today in my house has been refreshing
it's weird being in an empty house,
over time it starts to feel confining and overwhelming...
simply being alone for so long.
HOWEVER...in those moments of stillness and quietness...God speaks
and God loves
I am so thankful for this afternoon of quieting my heart,
of realizing the fullness of God's love and blessing in my life
and I am so thankful for who He made me to be,
and the areas that He is constantly chiseling at
and turning into something beautiful.

I will shout for joy,
because the Lord has shown me great love,
love that I do not deserve,
love that I usually take for granted

but it is in the little things of my day,
that I am beginning to notice and hold onto
the unexpected encouragement from a friend,
the way the wind feels when I walk outside to the mailbox
the lights that comes in from my slanted window blinds,
the feel of being able to sing loudly as I fold my laundry
and praise the God who made me...
these things are the beautiful things of life,
the precious things that I never want to forget...
the things that so often can seem mundane and boring,
but when noticed and appreciated become the things
that make up our days and our lives

If I could pray for anything,
it would be....to appreciate and notice the small things,
which I tend to forget...
I want to see the wonder in the leaves on a tree, and
the wind that though I can't see it, I feel it, and it refreshes my body.

Life is too fast...too crazy
and when I lose myself in things that don't really matter...
I stop being thankful for the little things that do.

I want to live this day for the Lord,
if for no one else,
in Him there is freedom and contentment,
and all good things.

Praise the Lord.

I miss you.

As I sit here in this island paradise, 

hedged in by the majestic palms,

overlooking the glorious pink gold sunset

and the dusky waters of the ocean, 

my heart turns inside my chest, 

I wish you were here. 

I always knew I loved you, 

I always knew you were my heart...

but I have felt it so deeply here

hearing from you makes my stomach flutter

I wish I could read your words all the more, 

to wake up and know that you thought of me, 

as I do you...

if you only knew how much

a quick hello means to me, 

to know that you love me just the same;

I know that you do, 

and I am so thankful. 

 

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If only I knew how to communicate the words of my mind

I feel like I care too much, 

and wrestle with the expectations of my heart..

everywhere i look there are bouquets of flowers

white dresses, 

rings, 

laughter, 

my heart jumps within my chest

to be quieted just as quickly. 

I know this is all for a purpose, 

I know i know i know, 

but my heart does not understand fully

and so i wrestle and struggle, 

and fall down again..

My love, 

If you knew how my heart aches within me,

how I wish I could be fully contented in spirit

i will pretend

for you. 

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