"I'm so happy that I started a computer journal again. I miss my old one that is now forever gone and erased on my sister's computer. All my thoughts, and all the time I took to write out those thoughts will forever be gone; never again to be discovered or known. It's strange when life flickers by...thoughts and memories, hurts and pains vanish into thin air and you're left with nothing. When my thoughts and my stories are erased....it's a weird feeling. I feel empty; and like my creativity has been shot into a garbage dumpster never to be discovered or uncovered. And I want to write a novel, but I don't have the time or the motivation to start one afresh and to finish it on my own, I don't know what I want to write about. I'm lost with my own thoughts and I don't have time to figure anything else out.
I'm confused. Sometimes I feel like I'm never going to progress forward. I take one step forward and two steps back. I want to do everything. I want to know everyone. I want to experience all of life, but I can't. It's not possible, and I don't want to be overwhelmed with things that I can't do. I want to do things that I can do, and take it one step at a time. Taking things one step at a time is hard for me, because sometimes I just want to RUN full force ahead. But then I remember that I can easily fall. "
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