Identity

Today before work I had a very relaxing afternoon, tanning on my trampoline and listening to Hans Peter's lecture on my IPOD. God SPEAKS wonders through Hans Peter. When I heard him speak at my school in England I learned so much. The message I listened to today was about Identity. In this turbulent stage of teenager/young adult/adult-ness....real, true identity is MIA. Hans Peter identified ways we typically look for our identity:

1. through what other people think about us

2. through what we think other people think about us (that may or may not be true)

3. what we think about ourselves

4. what God thinks about us

What do you say when someone asks you, "Who are you?" maybe a response would be," I'm Hannah." or ," I'm a student at Redeemer University college." ....but that's NOT my actual identity. That's my name, and my occupation....but it's NOT what defines me, or what makes me, me! Hans Peter gave examples through his lecture to support what he was saying. Let's say you meet someone and they say," I'm Bob, and I have A.D.D" Because Bob has made that his identity, he lives his life with the perception that he has A.D.D....and lives up to his identity. What traits do people with A.D.D typically have? hyperness & distraction to tasks at hand. When someone bases their identity on having A.D.D, even if they DONT have it- they live like they do! It's the same for someone who is an alcoholic. "Oh, I'm an alcoholic...it's normal for me to drink excessively....it's a part of who I am...it's my identity." as much as someone may not want to be an alcoholic....by labeling themselves as one it impacts how they live and how they view themselves. It may even become an excuse for bad behavior.

Hans Peter went on to describe the one identity that will never fail us.....the identity of being a child of God. When we identity ourselves as being a son or daughter of Christ, we begin to live it out and it affects the way we live. What is appropriate and what isn't? It becomes less about living by rules and more about living the way a child of God should live....because we WANT to and identity ourselves in that way. Everyday we believe lies, telling us who we are and who we're not....why do we listen to them?! Why do we fear what man thinks of us SOO incredibly much??! Does it really matter? I'd much rather live my life knowing that I'm pleasing God by what I do, than trying to be the person I think people want me to be. There's freedom in identifying yourself as a child of God. Freedom to get rid of labels and perceptions that others have falsely placed on us. Try it out. Stop labelling yourself as a "partier" or a "great" christian" or a "Baptist" or a "Lutheran" or a "person with depression".... instead tell yourself, " I am a child of God!" ....in the long run that is really all that matters anyways.

Toy Story 3

Yesterday afternoon I saw Toy Story 3 with my friend Courtney. I have NEVER EVER cried soooo much during a Disney movie before. WOW. For me, Toy Story is a movie that I have grown up with and all of the characters are SO special and bring back so many memories. With Andy going away to College and having to give up all his prized childhood toys....ahh...somehow I could relate to the situation. Me & the movie = emotionally connected. I felt like I was giving up my childhood too as I watched it. At the end of the movie (spoiler)- Andy gives away his toys to another little girl, and plays with them for the last time before driving away to College. What an emotional, EPIC moment.

All in all, Toy Story 3 is excellent. Sometimes sequels aren't so great, but this one surpassed all of my expectations...and showed me that even in cartoon, Disney movies, tears CAN be shed ! :)

Before The Morning ~ Josh Wilson

So I was driving today with my mom to pick up some pizza & this song came on the radio. I soaked up every word. It was exactly the song I needed to hear at that moment...

Beautiful. 

Undo

So, tonight for some reason I can't sleep. I am so tired but my mind is going a million miles per minute. In the middle of my attempt at sheep counting, this song flooded into my mind. It's called "Undo" by Rush of Fools, and it used to be one of my favourite songs a couple of years ago. I looked up the song and sat and listened to it....and it reminded me of some things that have been on my mind lately. 

"I've been here beforeNow, here I am again
Standing at the door
Praying You'll let me back in

To label me
A prodigal would be
Only scratching the surface
Of who I've been known to be"

In this song, the band touches on the feelings of guilt and shame. I feel like there are so many people who struggle with these two things......feeding into the LIES that they are worthless and that they can never be forgiven. This is NOT true. Jesus longs for you to come back to Him with your whole heart, believing that you are free and forgiven. Hebrews 10:22, "Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience, and our bodies washed with pure water." Jesus sees into our hearts and is desperately desiring to purify us from all that we're hiding inside. Everyone fails in some ways or another, but when we realize that we can be forgiven and made new, Jesus wants us to fall before His feet...knowing we can't do it anymore on our own strength. But that we NEED HIM. 

One of my friends told me once of something that had happened that they deeply regretted. I could see the guilt and shame all across their face....but when I looked at my friend, he had never looked so perfect. And I knew right then, that I was seeing him with God's eyes...of how God saw him and just how deeply God loved him. The pain of his shame brought pain to God, and I could feel all that in that moment, and I just knew that He was begging for my friend to realize and GRASP that he was indeed forgiven and it was all going to be okay. Jesus loved him, and loves us SO much....but sometimes the shame is to big that we can't fully see it. Jesus wants you to receive His forgiveness, and forgive yourself. 

Romans 12:1 - Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.." 

Let us RUN with all of our might towards the things that are good....throwing off everything else that can tangle us up and cause us to stumble. With our eyes fixed above, and asking for strength each day...slowly the guilt and shame will fade away as we each are reminded of HOW incredibly much our God DOES love us. Believe it.  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stT0WzeXrLU

On fire....or lukewarm?

   Okay, so my mom just got back from Minnesota and she brought back a book for me to read. It's called "Crazy Love" and it's by Francis Chan. OH MY FLIP!!!!! It is amazing. Incredible. Challenging. I just finished reading a chapter that blew my mind and I had to run upstairs and write down my thoughts. 

The chapter's called "Profile of the Lukewarm" and it starts off with this quote: 

"It is not scientific doubt, not atheism, not pantheism, not agnosticism, that in our day and in this land is likely to quench the light of the gospel. It is proud, sensuous, selfish, luxurious, church-going, hollow- hearted prosperity." 

Wow. When I stop and reflect on that quote, it is SO true. HOW can we as Christians, who have been given this AMAZING, INCREDIBLE gift just throw it away so easily. Why do we always just want the EASY parts of Christianity....the parts that we can pick and choose because they're comfortable and they don't REALLY truly affect our lives in a negative way. 

"The irony is that while God doesn't need us but still wants us, we desperately need God but don't really want Him most of the time. He treasures us and anticipates our departure from this earth to be with Him- and we wonder, indifferently, how much we have to do for Him to get by." (Chan, 61) 

I have this picture of God standing right beside me, waving to get my attention and trying to show me how much He loves me, but I just look right past Him and ignore Him. He's trying to show me all the wonderful things He has in store for my life with Him, but I keep doubting His promises and pretending that I can control and handle things on my own.....

HE desperately wants us to WANT Him. He never forces us to love Him, or to read our Bibles, or even to pray....but He's just waiting for us to have a "lightbulb" moment where we realize....that He's always been there. He's ALWAYS been there. He's the one that's with us in our greatest joys, and our deepest hurts. When we don't feel like we can take another step..... He's the one who's CHEERING like mad for us to keep going....to keep persevering.....our #1 fan, and we don't even thank Him half the time....

What good is it to Him, if we read our Bibles just to please him, without really wanting to?! I want to WANT to read my Bible, to have a hunger for more of God because He deserves it and because I love Him. Not because I'm guilty and think that I "should" to be a "good" Christian. He deserves so much more than our lukewarm faith.... that loves Him when times are good....but how "DARE" He do something that causes us pain or hurt? Why do we think this way? Why do we think it's all about us?? It's not. And as hard as it is for my selfish, human mind to comprehend....I don't deserve this love that He gives me. But He still gives it to me none the less. Wow.

Exception

Okay....so....for as long as I can remember I have been in LOVE with the sound of acoustic guitar. I don't know what it is, but whenever I hear the guitar being played...I am smitten by it, and I fall into my own little dream world. This summer, I decided that I, Hannah Trester was going to learn to play this instrument that I love so much. A week after getting home, my friend Teri came over and we were just talking about guitars for SOME reason....and she told me that she never played her guitar anymore and it was just catching dust in her basement. THEN she told me, that I could take it! I was SOOO PUMPED. I had been all prepared to go to Guitar Works and buy a new guitar for however much money they cost....but now I could borrow Teri's!! ahhh. 

So....me & my new guitar didn't do well together at first. I TRIED hard to play....but teaching myself with Youtube videos isn't always the greatest method. My friend Nicole taught me some chords and told me what a fret was (hahah YES I was a complete amateur) I learned some chords in the first few months of summer and attempted some worship songs...but didn't really get into it. After the busy, crazy month of July, I decided that AUGUST was my month to hardcore LEARN this guitar!! SO I have set a goal for myself to practice at least for a couple minutes EVERY day of August until I am a PRO and start my own band....haha kidding. 

Today, I broke two guitar strings. I almost cried. I was tuning it....and I SUCK at tuning still....and So they snapped and I just sat there MORTIFIED. Right away, I took my guitar, got into the car and drove to guitar works. The guys who work there were VERY helpful and they gave me some pointers and sent me on my way. Today, I played guitar more than any day so far this summer....and I started to learn a new song by Paramore called ," The Only Exception." I don't know why I like this song so much....for one, it's pretty easy to learn on guitar...and it has a nice beat & for two: I'm a big Paramore fan. Anyways, I started learning it today and I am FAR from pro....but I am more motivated than EVER before to MASTER this baby! here's a sample...of my lack of skill...hahah :) One thing is true....I love the sound of guitar even MORE now that I'm starting to learn how to play it :)

Rollercoaster

So, my life this past month has felt like a rollercoaster ride. There's been some really high, exciting times and also some very low, sad times. I feel like every night when I go to bed, I don't know if I'll wake up in the morning feeling down or optimistic about the day. But I always have to remember that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% of how you react to it. I don't want to be the person who mopes around when life gets me down...and so I have to make a conscious effort to change my mood completely for the better. At the same time...it's OK to have down days too....we're human.... it happens. And it makes us real. 

I was looking through my Itunes files the other day and I found some lectures from Hans Peter, who was a lecturer at my school in England last year. He was my ABSOLUTE favourite....and probably one of the few lecturers I remember very, VERY well. I realized as I looked through his messages, that I had all ten of them...and so I started from the first and listened to it in my spare time. At Capernwray, Hans Peter's messages had completely challenged and transformed my life, and so as I listened I was blown away by what God was speaking to me through them. There's one message about being thankful in every circumstance. Hans talked about thanking God ahead of time for what He is GOING to do....and in that way our trust and faith in Him are strengthened, and we begin to believe that YES He has gone before us and He knows our future and He's paving the way for us. 

In the past couple of weeks, when I'm down and worried about the future, I just commit it straight away to God and thank Him for what He's GOING to do...and that He's already gone before me.

Seriously, in ALL honesty, when I do that.....I don't have to worry anymore. Maybe.... my non- worry state will just last for a couple hours...but then I just hand it all back to him again....and again...and AGAIN! I Commit it to God...knowing that He is WAY more powerful than me, and He can control things way better than I can. It's hard...but once you get into the habit of doing it...believe me....life doesn't seem quite so scary anymore.  It's worth a shot ;) What could you lose by trying? 

Bucket List

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.
-Judy Garland

Even if I don't reach all my goals, I've gone higher than I would have if I hadn't set any. -Danielle Fotopoulis

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. But you can decide how you're going to live now. -Joan Baez

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
- Eleanor Roosevelt


OK, so today I decided that I wanted to make a Bucket List. I was talking to one of my friends, and she was telling me how she had just made one.....& I personally think it's SO exciting to set goals for your life. I've always been one to make short term and long term goals in my journals, and when I have things to look forward to and strive for....my life is so much more thrilling and challenging :) These things were all off the top of my mind...I'm sure there's more that I'll add eventually :

BUCKET LIST: (to accomplish in my lifetime; in no particular order)

1. Work in Europe for a summer
2. Return to Edinburgh, Scotland ( my favourite place in the WHOLE world)
3. Visit Capernwray Hall
4. Go on a missions trip to Africa
5. Go on a Safari
6. Play guitar well (master at least 5 songs!!)
7. Go to all 50 states at least once
8. Kiss someone in the rain
9. Become fluent in conversational Spanish
10. Be known for my joy in Jesus :)
11. Fall in love
12. Get married
13. Have kids (2-4)
14. Go on another cruise
15. Live life with no regrets & focused on the present
16. Sponser a child
17. Be a camp counsellor ( @ least ONE week!)
18. Go skinny dipping
19. Go sailing
20. Go sky diving
21. Write a book and get it published